Anlässlich des Endes der ersten Staffel von “Star Trek: Picard” darf natürlich auch unsere Comic-Parodie nicht fehlen. Wir zeigen auf, was so alles schief gelaufen ist, was man hätte besser machen können – und vieles mehr. Und das mit einem leichten Augenzwinkern.

Zufälligerweise sind es auch wieder 47 Bilder geworden, wie bereits bei unserer Parodie zu “Discovery Staffel 2”.
Auf eine englische Version haben wir diesmal verzichtet, stattdessen gibt es englische Untertitel zu jedem Bild.

Achtung – Humor incoming! Wenn du das nicht verträgst, lies nicht weiter.
Und: Spoilergefahr!

Nun aber viel Spaß:

Intro

“Retirement feels good. I think I’ll never go back to space again.”

“Blood and Gore, Captain! I need your help.” – “Ok, let’s go!”

“Did you really go looking old nostalgia stuff while I was scared in the corner?” – “What? Oh no, no, of course not. Let’s go to Starfleet, they will help us.” – “Why should they? They don’t like androids.” – “Because… reasons! And I’m Picard, damn it!”

Insert useless Artifact scene here.

“They killed Dahj! I’ll get a crew to search for her Sister!” – “So much for your retirement. But as highly trained Tal’Shiar operatives we are going to join you.” – “No, better not. I’d like to take other people no one has ever heard of. But they’ve been in the trailers.”

“They killed Dahj! I’ll get a crew to search for her Sister!” – “You.. just said that.”

“They killed Dahj! I’ll get a crew to search for her Sister!” – “You just.. wait! Did you say the same thing three times so that we have more episo… pictures with basically the same content, while we could have had the same in just one picture?” – “Nobody will take notice of it! I’ll go for my crew. See’ya!”

Insert useless Artifact scene here.

“Okay, Maddox is on Freecloud, but let’s make another stop first and get a fighting monk, which no one will need.” – “More new faces for the crew? Shouldn’t we hurry so that those secret secretive Secret-Romulans aren’t there first?” – “Stay calm, Raffi. Something tells me that we could cross the entire universe and still be there in time!”

“Let’s get Maddox!” – “Oh, you’re not real altogether? Is Seven real? And why are we in a copy of the vineyard instead of training in an copy of the bar?”

“Give me a phaser! I will not go down and kill Biyazl! I promise! This is just for fun.” – “In this case – take two rifles!”

“You must head to the Artifact.” – “Where?” – “Where?”

“To the Artifact.” – “Where?” – “Where?”

“Ah why didn’t you say Cube in the first place?” – “You’re doing this picture thing again to extent the plot, don’t you?” – “Who? Me? Ehm, no. Excuse me, I must go!”

“Ok then, I’m going to die.” – “Excellent. So I don’t need to talk about absolutely irrational android fear. And this way I can’t be charged for murder in the end. I’ve just signed for Season 2, you know?”

“Hey Honey, I need diplomatic status for Romulan space. Well, we’re already there, to be precise.” – “Are you insane? Computer, Out!” – “Sh***! They surely have massive defenses there!”

“So here we are! Somtheing tells me that we missed something on this Ship.” – “And what could that be Captain?” – “Well, probably the Best Scene of the whole Season!”

“Sock-Slide, jeah!”

“And what about those defensive systems?” – “They have – a tractor beam!”

“Stop your research! We’Re in a Tractor Beam!” – “Increase the amount of bad words first.” – ” “F***, S***, Da***.”

“Look, we’re free!” – “Ok then beam me aboard. I’ll be expected there.”

“Hello? Hey? Anybody awaiting me?” – “It’s not like I have a psychic trauma because of the Borg…and a terrible fear of being left alone here. That’s what you do for sure.”

“Hey, old friend! I’m not Geordi but you may call me friend anyway.” – “Speak, friend, and enter.” – “What?” – “Sorry, wrong franchise.”

“You surely can help me.” – “Of course. And as head of installation I don’t know that the Romulans are trying to kill your friend at this very moment.” – “What? Let’s go!”

“Here I am. Where are we going?” – “Just for a visit. An old Friend who will rescue us later on.” – “But the evil ones identified the Android’s planet. Shouldn’t we try Galaxy-Google or just look into the Borg database and go there, too?”

“That’s not in the script. But something tells me that we can cross the entire universe and will still be there before our foes.” – “You’re doing it again, don’t you?” – “Wait, what?” – “The picture thing!” – “What? No, no – ehm, let’s go!”

Manche Bilder stehen für sich selbst / A picture speaks for itself.

“Shouldn’t we go on with the plot?” – “Pssht! A pizza break ALWAYS is a good break!”

“Ah Coppelius, finally. But shouldn’t we talk about those space orchids that brought us down?” – “Nope, they’re just eye candy and will be destroyed very quickly in Part 2. Save our budget for more interesting pictures.”

“And this should be better? Another Soji? Another Soong?” – “Enough of this. I’ll make an impressive speech – now and in the following episode – that will resolve EVERYTHING!”

“Enough of this. We want to kill all organic life forms so… ehm arrest him.” – “Sorry Captain, but that speech thing didn’t work out.”

“He should have asked some one who knows the ropes”

“Don’t worry, Captain. We’re here for rescue.” – “But we’re killllliiinng all organic life..” – “We’re Germans, we play football.” – “Ok, you may enter”

“Thanks, but I’m already free. Now I’ll saaave you all!” – “Oh no Captain, no speech again. That didn’t work well in the first place.”

“Ok, so I’m dying instead.” – “Stop Captain, we still need this Romulan solution!”

“Damn, damn, damn! Now, what I’m supposed do? If I there were just some sort of miracle device to help me out…”

“Yes, Starfleet’s here! With so many ships. Someone didn’t spare any costs and efforts for all those different non-generic ships!”

“Wait! What? It’s over now? No big fight as seen in “Discovery”! How poor is that?!” – “Come on, it WAS a little bit like “Discovery”, all those colored circles in the final battle…” – “Well, at least Picard is dead. Such a shocking ENDING for this season!

I’m back! ‘I bet you’re shocked right now! You didn’t expect that, did you?” – “We did.” – “Lame! Season 2 has long been  announced.” – “Everyone knew, thanks to the Golem.”

“Golem? But I didn’t show him in the pictures to keep the surprise!” – “Well..” – “Ah, what has happend to Data farewell scene?” – “Oh, I thought some fans might disapprove of it, so I cut it all out, too.”

“You’re doing it again, don’t you?” – “Doing what?” – “The picture thing.” – “What? Ehm, never. But now you have to excuse me. Crew, line up!”

“And what’s next in Season 2?” – “Well, let’s ask someone who knows for sure.”

“So, finally we completely understood what ‘Star Trek’ is all about. And we are going to show more of it in season 2. – Trust me, we won’t repeat our mistakes and we are going to do something completely different.”

Crime has a new enemy: “Excuse me, but somwhere in the galaxy a crime is commencing.”

“Who is this guy behind me and why is he still with us?” – “I don’t care or did you memorize important scenes of him throughout the season?”

“And what’s about all those unanswered questions?” – “And what’s about the new direction of Season 2?” – “Who cares about unanswered questions?”

“The fans?” – “The reasonable audience?” – “They’re doing those picture thing again, aren’t they?” – “Then I know the right thing for Season 2 – I am co-producer anyway. We’re going to do something completely different and new and no one will care about unanswered questions.” – “And what new concept will it be?”

The new mystery series: “The Trek Files”! For more unanswered questions as you like it.

Das Copyright der Bilder liegt bei CBS/Amazon Prime, Zacksploitation, IGN, RoboCopArchive, FOX.


2 Kommentare

Avatar

wolf-roberto · 5. April 2020 um 11:43

Das war lustig! 😀
Das war lustig! 😀
Das war lustig! 😀

    Avatar

    wolf-roberto · 5. April 2020 um 11:46

    ach verdammt, erst nachdenken, dann schreiben.
    p.s.: vielleicht bekommen ja mulder und scully auch ein Gastauftritt in season 2?! *akte-x-titel-song* (Das würde das ich-kann-alles-reparieren-tool erklären)

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