Auch zur dritten Staffel von “Star Trek: Discovery” darf unsere Comic Parodie nicht fehlen. Diesmal bekommen nicht nur Burnham sondern auch die Zukunft die volle Dröhnung ab. Was läuft da schief? Oder läuft es doch? Und was kann weg? Wie immer gilt: Augenzwinkern.

Diese Parodie hat mit 52 Bildern mehr als die bisherigen Parodien (Picard Staffel 1 / Discovery Staffel 2).
Wie immer haben wir aber auch diesmal nicht auf englische Untertitel verzichtet.

Achtung – Humor incoming! Wenn du das nicht verträgst, lies nicht weiter.
Und: Spoilergefahr!

Nun aber viel Spaß:

Somewhere in the universe in the far future. Something is heading towards Earth…

 

It crashes into a building…

 

It is… – “She’s coming! She’s coming! Burnham is coming!”

 

“Ahm.. who?”

 

“Yes I did it. ” – “Don’t become sentimental now!” – “Don’t worry. This will be the only time in this whole season that I’m going to cry!”

 

“Am I really talking to my suit? I must be really tired!” – “And how do you want to accomplish this?” – “Well, I already have a good idea .”

 

“This scene shall never be shown again, did I make myself clear?”

 

“Where will be going next?” – “Search Discovery and so on…” – “Wait, let me tell you everything about The Burn first.”

 

“Hm shouldn’t we hand her over to the authorities? She tells us her plan and well, time travelling is forbidden…” – “Oh my god, this is so ridiculous. I can only withstand this with drugs… GNI HIHIHIHIH”

 

“Has someone ever told you that you look like this odd cousin that Osyraa is going to kill later that season?” – “What? Don’t fool me! I’m trying to do serious police work here.”

 

“But he wanted to do serious cop work.. ahh..”

 

“So, as we have escaped, can we now please rebuild the federation? We already have too many pictures for just one episode!” – “Yes, but I have to tell you something. There is an UFP-Officer waiting on a space station for more than 40 years…” – “40 Years? Sounds somehow familiar…”

 

“Are you a kind of federation?”

 

“Well..yes?” – “Why is this hot blonde chick waiting here alone for 40 years?”

 

In the mean time… – “Hold on. We’re going down!”

 

“Hey Friends. You come to my planet and in my town? That will cost you dearly.”

 

“How abould an old tricorder? It has a high value and I don’t like to give it away…” – “Yes, perfekt, that’ll do. I’m out.”

 

“What is this?” – “Programmable matter. I can produce everything from it. Even old tricorders..” – “Well, that was… unexpected.”

 

“As unexpected as seeing me?” – “Michael.” – “The Allmighty is back. We’re all safe”

 

“Please stop it. I’m just Michael.” – “Okay, then tell me what you did in the last year?” – “Well I did.. well ehrm ahm..”

 

“What? You didn’t even fly to Earth? Its galactic coordinates are well known.” – “Ehrm no.” – “And you did nothing else to save the federation? That surely could have helped you…?” – Ehrm, well, no.”

 

“So what did you do then hanging around for one year?” – Burnham to herself: “Hung around with a hot blonde on a space station” – Ehrm I had a trail to a Blackbox just before you arrived.” – “Burnham… In case you will ever be promoted to captain… then I would quit.”

 

“Let’s head towards Earth!” – “Hiya! I’m not helping.” – Did you consider talking with your neighbors?” – “Damn. Ok, take Adira and have fun on Trill.”

 

“We’ll get to know on these pools where the federation.” – “Well then, let’s take a bath.”

 

“Really well done pool-dream. Though I was already on drugs at the beginning of the season…”

 

“Well, there is always a bigger fish..”

 

“Are you crazy Burnham? You just made use of the “Kill your Gay-Cliché. Fans around the globe will blame us for this. – “But that was not meant in a harmful way. It was just for the plot. Adira will not add to the plot during the remaining season.” – “BURNHAM!!!!!” – “Ok ok! I’ll get her back for the next season. I promise. But instead I’ll kick out Nhan.”

 

“I’m Admiral Vance. So, you want to help?” – “Well you didn’t manage to solve “The burn” riddle, so… let the experts take care of this.” – “Okay, I will do. Just like that and so that I can get rid of you. I’ll even upgrade your ship.”

 

“Good, lets start with the Vulcans.” – “And who are you?” – “Burnham”

 

“Ahm.. who?”

 

“Burnham, Spock’s sister.” – “Hm no, there is no sister mentionned here.” -“We have a Sybok in the recordings.”

 

“Not Sybok, Burnham damnit! – “Could she have had gender surgery? Not much of a deal nowadays.” – “Damn no, I’m really Spock’s sister.” – “And we should believe you that?”

 

“Well, biologically you are not Spock’s sister but my daughter.” – Mum!! -. “I’m right. They are Vulcans and you arre human.” – “You’re not really helping at the moment…”

 

“And why should we believe any of this shit? – Well, you have heard of sybok the first time after 20 years!” – “Damn, she is Spock’s sister!”

 

“One moment, I received new evidence. It is her, the burn – Burnham. Why did nobody see this before!” – ” Oh please, that is soocheap. There must be a Big Bad behind it!” – Why?” -“Because… because.. well because the authors surely would not write something as simple as that. It was not an accident.”

 

“We don’t believe you. We’re not helping. Bye.”

 

“I wanna cry. But follishly, I had promised in the beginning not to do that in this season.” – “But from where will we get informations about The Burn now?”

 

“We will just follow the transmissions of the nursery rhyme… and there it is.. Verubin nebula.” – “Wait, what song?” “We mentionned it at the beginning of the seaons and then forgot about it.” – ” Ah well. Then let’s go there, we only have budget for four more images!”

 

“Yes, I admit. It was Su’Kal all along!”

 

“Burnham. We really need to stop stealing from Marvel und create something of our own!” – “And what about the Big Bad?” “We’ll cut her out!”

 

You’re cut” – (Burnham to herself) “Actually, the season worked quite well without a Big Bad. And because she didn’t even talk, we will not have to pay her. I’m surely getting a reward for this.”

 

“Well done Burnham, I’ll promote you to captain. ” “Yippee!”

 

“Ok, I’m out! Bye!”

 

“Very well, we have fulfilled our image quota.” – (Burnham to herself) “And I can finally go back to that hot blonde from that space station. – “Captain, we can’t do that. We need a fight!”

 

“What? But the quota…We’re finished. The end.” – “Sorry, no season without a fight.” – “But with which Big Bad?”

 

“With me, of course!” – “Ok then. Let’s just add this stupid fight. But I want it to be spectacular. Something we’ve never done before! Lets amaze the people.” – “This surely weill be the best scene of the season.”

 

*whoosh*

 

“Burnham , where are you?” – “Here.” – “Where?” – “There.” – “Wait, are you outside the ship?”

 

“What a mess! Don’t bother. I’ll jump without your help.” – “Oh damn, I forgot the Bungee Rope.. AHHHH.”

 

Das Copyright der Bilder liegt bei CBS/Netflix, Disney, Amazon Prime und SyFy.


Thomas Götz

Seitdem er 1985 zum Ersten Mal Episode IV sah und ausrief "Aber das heisst doch, Vader ist Lukes Vater" ist Tom der Science Fiction verfallen. Star Trek Fan wurde er, wie viele seiner Kollegen, 1990 mit "The Next Generation" in Deutschland. Seine ersten Buchrezensionen zu Star Trek Büchern erschienen schon 1995 im Alter von 16 Jahren im Star Trek Fanclub. Seit 2006 schreibt er auch Online Rezensionen (ab 2009 Trekzone-Exklusiv) und hat kürzlich seine 2000.Rezension veröffentlicht.

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